I often see myself as a loner. I don’t mind doing things on my own, away from the “pack”. I am also extremely delightful to find myself in an absence of sounds, or as you may call it “silence”. So imagine how happy I was, finding myself in a relatively small-sized city in Europe, where most of the hustle-bustle happens only at the market.

I spent two years of my life there; recovering from the broken heart and stupid decisions made when I was younger and blinded by the love; trying to re-find the “me” I used to know. Those kind of things.

I liked it there. The dullness, the serenity, the silence.
Almost three weeks ago now, I flew back to my dear hometown. Yes, I’ve missed this place. But I also figured out how weird two years have affected me.

Of course, like any other cities in Asia, Bandung is not so much different to Bangkok or Singapore or maybe even Jakarta in terms of how busy the city could be. I mean, it’s a city of nearly 3 millions inhabitants, with an almost constant flow of vehicle throughout the day. Of course it’s a completely different reality to the 90,000 inhabitants one. But what I didn’t expect at all was that I got prety annoyed with the urban-buzz. One thing I actually missed two years ago. Bizzare!

Perhaps that’s exactly how fast I can adapt to a new condition. Perhaps the city has changed. Perhaps I have changed my perspective towards urban life that I want. Perhaps it’s a combination of all three.

I found that the urban-buzz gets a little bit too much for my sensory system. It feels like once I stepped out of my house, there are too many things to process at once. It’s funny, I started to sounds like I am suffering from psychological disorder. But then again, I might.

Probably I need to learn to process things more slowly from this time on. Maybe I need to recreate the “filter” I used to have.
I guess this is just one of those things they never told you, or prepare you, after living abroad for a while.


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